The Rules of Breakups There are cross cultural unspoken and timeless rules involving breakups. No matter how far in time I travel, backwards or forwards, there have always been rules and regulations surrounding the ending of relationships. Possessions divide; some of them are split with violent throwing or are tossed onto the lawn, while others are civilly divided or selfishly horded. Friends are split; some takes sides, others are kept through unspoken rules. This is simply a testament to some of those rules and regulations that some people just don’t seem to understand.

Gifts and Possessions:

If you gave someone a necklace or a book, or a watch or video game… no matter what it is, if it is given during a holiday or birthday, the person it was given to keeps possession. What they do with it is entirely up to them, they could put down a gift puppy if they really wanted to. This is sad, but one of the rules.

If you leave something like a sweatshirt, or one of your valued possessions such as family ring or heirloom with an ex, they are obliged to give it back. It was given as a conditional gift assuming things between you worked out. Don’t be a dick about it, but it is only fair that you get things like that back.

Friends:

The splitting of friends gets VERY complex. However they can all be split into a few groups…

- People who have been good friends with BOTH of you prior to your getting together are allowed to stay friends with both you and your ex-partner.

- People who knew only one of you and met you via the Ex. No matter the length of the relationship and how well you may have bonded to your ex’s friends, you lose them. ESPECIALLY if you are the one doing the breaking up. You are breaking their friends heart… the least you can do is let them have their original friends.

- People you have met with your ex who neither of you previously knew. These people get to make their own choice. They can choose you OR your ex, NOT both. This is sad, but it is the only way things don’t get awkward between them.

Oh, just one final note.There is no such thing as a clean break-up. One person always has feelings still. Normally the person who is getting broken up with. Yeah, you can pull the “we will still be friends”… it is bullshit. If one person has feelings still, they won’t be able to be your friend, it will hurt them too much (because the ex doesn’t have feelings or because the ex will move on and they will be left seeing the person they have feelings for happy with some other asshole).

Pre-New Years resolution time!  I am going to try to post 1 song every week for the next year!

I am now officially addicted to this song. I guess that makes it the first song of the week!

As a lot of people are awaiting the release of Lil Wayne from prison (Nov. 4th), I figured I should start a series on some of the most under-rated/ not yet popular music.  I like being first to the punch because everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.  As an opener to my series I am going to throw two up and coming songs at you: Bruno Mars- Grenade, and Lil Wayne- Bill Gates. 

The former is a wonderfully written, a very beautiful one sided love song.  It goes through the trials and tribulations of a man who gives all of his love to a woman who doesn’t appreciate the gesture and doesn’t reciprocate.   I like how the bass in the song mimics the pace and beat of the human heart.

It can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c295sg6ZdAw&feature=related

The latter, shows the amazing skills of Lil Wayne.  It is a very classic rap anthem, it boasts about the obvious: swagger, drinking, smoking weed, being a gangsta and a high roller.  He claims that he used to be used to be ballin, but now he is on a whole new level, like Bill Gates.  Classic Lil Wayne, give it a listen.

Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVoBSVSCU1I

Enjoy,

Your local time traveler

Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog!  I am a homeless time traveler sent forward into your time, from outer space, to tell you about the impending doom that will take place in the future if you don’t subscribe to my blog.  (If that makes logical sense to you… I suggest you get a psych evaluation from your local hospital)

Reasons to read my blog:

1. For every person who views this and doesn’t follow it… I shall eat a small child, alive.  Ok, you called my bluff, maybe I won’t, but still… does it hurt you to make my day?

2. I’m awesome and lets face it, you are falling in love with me already.  Not that far in love… no, I won’t have your children.

3. You are now aware of your tongue… it is sitting in your mouth which is composed of your jaw.  Your jaw has weight and you are holding it up. You released as soon as you read that.  Your computer fan is loud and your monitor is bright.  You are wearing clothes and they are touching your skin and you can feel it.  You are concerned about how I know all of this.

4.  You really do need another distraction from work/ school/ being bored/ your children/ life.  Why not use this as an excuse… at least it will make you smile.

5. On the internet, pants are merely a suggestion… subscribing to this blog however, isn’t.

6. No matter how old you get the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ with no context related still make you chuckle.  You aren’t alone… this could be your support group… or much more likely the drug to feed your habit.

If you aren’t clearly convinced that this is the right place for you… well… please get off the internet… I mean it, all the way off… no funny e-mails, no facebook, no twitter, NOTHING.   See… I knew I could convince you.  Also: the ‘inpending doom’ that I was talking about earlier… well it is like the end of the world or something… so yeah… you really need to subscribe or you won’t get the last laugh.

Keep watching!